From the desk of Renfield
Personal assistant to Count Andrew Von Fafsala Lockwuud 

Hello. I don’t have much time so I’ll cut to the chase while Count Von Fafsala and Countess Pearlticia are slumbering in their coffins. The sun will set shortly and I’ll be busy tending to their gruesome needs..

Let me be brutally honest:  I didn’t see your name (or even your soul) on the list of victims, um, “people” signing up for the $304.50 off Financial Aid Consulting promo that ended at midnight last night, and I was shocked!  And not in the good way.

But come a little closer, so I can whisper something in your ear (sorry in advance about the insect breath):

I can still get you in for the same deal that expired yesterday.  All you have to do is sign up before the Count and Countess rise again, and nobody gets hurt.  

The Lockwuuds won’t know anything about my evil scheme, so they won’t punish me (which is a bit...