WARNING: 10% off deal expiring
Good eeeeeve-a-ning (it's dark somewhere in the word),
At midnight tonight, our offer expires as abruptly and savagely as a stake through a heart...
10% off our Financial Aid Warrior, financial aid consulting service (plus a "wicked awesome," fast-action bonus worth $497 - see below).
Financial Aid Warrior is our "silver bullet" financial aid consulting and applications prep (FAFSA, CSS Profile) service that gets you every last bloody dollar that you deserve to get, possibly even more…
…steering you clear of the horrible, blood-sucking monstrous mistakes that lie, lurking in the shadows for poor, sweet, unsuspecting you…
…ready to POUNCE and rob you blind of the financial aid and scholarship money you otherwise should have won!
This limited-time, about-to-kick-the-bucket promo allows you to enroll for an instant, tuition-SLASHING scholarship of 10% off (if you beat the devil, and countdown clock):
There’s a recession brewing (in case your head is BURIED in the sand), but we’re putting on our goalie masks and taking out our chainsaws to massacre our own prices for you!
Plus, we'll point out any and all hidden “loopholes” in the financial aid forms – including the legal “shelters” for your assets – that could quite literally save you thousands of dollars.
Maybe tens of thousands!
Plus plus, you never have to “lose your head” over missing a DEADline (this is really valuable, they sneak up on you and cause countless unlucky souls to miss out on financial aid they should have gotten!).
Or, you can help your cash flow and spread out the payments in our EZ payment plan also discounted).
Our accountant thinks we have bats in our belfry because of the incredible VALUE we provide, but we’ll do anything to get this into your deserving hands!
So why are we doing this silly “Halloween” sale?
First, It’s our way to say “thank you” for being part of our community and helping refer and otherwise spread the word about our college planning services
Second, It’s indisputable that this is one giant, monster of a deal! We actually lowered our prices...how many businesses do THAT????
Third, Pearl, who is the mother of our four “Children Of The Night,” wants to help you file everything correctly!
Fourth, The FAFSA and CSS Profile are a flat out nightmare! More so with the pending changes slated for December. We want to rescue you from your own personal hell of wrestling with the applications. You don’t have a ghost of a chance of doing them as well as Pearl – without her advice. This will help you get the most money you’re entitled to!
To Make the Unaffordable College...Affordable!
So...Pearl and I felt that you deserve a break and wanted to “treat” (not “trick”) you, to the tune of 10% off!
Our invaluable service will take you by the hand and lead you through the House of Horror that awaits you, namely...
Stress, hassle and all unpleasant dealings with the financial aid office, government websites, uploading tax returns, schedules, w2s, 1099s, remembering your passwords, PINs, the FSA ID (know what that is? You need two or more), wondering if you made a mistake, or somehow filed properly and otherwise feeling BURIED ALIVE by all this gruesome college nonsense.
In financial aid, the DEVIL is in the details. (The CSS Profile has 200-300 questions, depending on which colleges are on your list.) But it’s a tall order to outwit “Old Scratch” yourself. We can help you comfortably afford college tuition for all of your Children of the Night – without SACRIFICING your lifestyle – or RACK-ing up tens of thousands of torturous, gruesome, high rate debt!
Plus, when you sign up with us before the “witching hour”, you get a gigantic, MONSTROUS BONE-us that will help reassure you that you have a balanced, strategic college list…and avoid College Admissions Armageddon:
This helps you do a last minute Gut Check to evaluate how your child “stacks up” against all of his competitors (not just the ones at your high school, the way Naviance shows).
You will NOT get this kind of accurate information about your child’s TRUE admissions chances from your guidance counselor. This tool – College Guru Software – is much more accurate. Use it if you dare…
This proprietary, privately-available bonus was created by a 30-year member of Princeton University’s Admissions Committee, and was designed to factor in 20-25 key elements that admissions officers evaluate. Naviance looks at only GPA and SAT or ACT.
What’s the problem? You might get REJECTED by your “Safety Schools”, because you mistakenly thought they were no-brainers.
In a similar VEIN, if you rely on your school counselor and her software program, you won’t get an accurate sense of how balanced your list is, because you will FAIL to consider everything that admissions officers review, including:
Race
Applying Early Decision
Volunteer Activities
Applying Test-Optional vs. Submitting Scores
Rigor of Course Load
More
This bonus delivers honest, objective information. Oh, and it helps you see what’s available at each college on your list re: Merit Aid.
This way you can have the upper hand when you try to negotiate more money, after your initial award. (We help with that too. Big time.)
It's yours...ONLY if you enroll before the clock striketh midnight…
Sign up before it’s all gone, like some ghostly apparition you may or may not have imagined out of the corner of your eye!
If you need me, I’ll be banging out a few creepy tunes on our pipe organ!
Andy “Count FAFSALA” Lockwood
Undead College Planner
P.S. – This no-brainer, irresistible, 10% -OFF sale ends TONIGHT at Midnight!
Don’t miss out - avoid the stinging pain of regret and shame for your remaining years. You’ll feel worse than Linda Blair after a day of filming The Exorcist if you blow this off!
