Get this right now for 10% off [Warning: bad puns inside]
Good eeeeeve-a-ning...
(I know it's morning, just go with it.)
My undead but lovely Countess Pearlticia and I have never done anything like this in our 350+ years together, but right now, you can invite us (careful!) into your corner to help you conquer the FAFSA, CSS Profile and all other of your financial aid demons for 10% off - AND claim a big fat bonus (see below)!
Why are we doing this goofy Halloween sale and gutting our prices?
- It’s our way to say “thank you” for being part of our community and helping refer and otherwise spread the word about our college planning services
- It’s indisputable that this is one giant, MONSTA of a deal! We actually lowered our prices...how many businesses do THAT???? (There’s a recession out there in case you didn’t notice.)
- Pearl, the mother of our four “Children Of The Night,” prepares approximately 400 of our clients' financial aid applications each year, and is gearing up for perhaps the most complicated year ever, thanks to Congress’s pending, anti-middle class FAFSA changes. It's going to be a huge mess. But she can still help you…see below!
- We know that you can get downright BATTY grappling with the FAFSA, CSS Profile and other financial aid forms that make no BLOODY sense! We’re here to help!
So...Pearl and felt that you deserve a break and wanted to “treat” you, to the tune of 10% off!
Our Financial Aid Warrior financial aid consulting program helps you avoid the stress, hassle and all unpleasant, ghoulish dealings with the bloodthirsty zombies in the financial aid office, government websites, figuring out what to file, when to file them, tax returns, remembering your passwords, PINs, the FSA ID (know what that is?), wondering "Did I make any mistakes?"…
...and all the other things that can go “bump” in the night!
One little error can sabotage your eligibility for the financial aid and scholarships that you deserve - and need - to send your child to college!
There a ton at STAKE (yep - intentional) to merely “wing it.”
So what is Financial Aid Warrior?
Simply put, it’s like when you go to your accountant, dump all your tax info on him and he prepares your taxes. We do everything for you. But that’s not even scratching the surface.
- We also identify key strategies and “loopholes ” that can improve your eligibility for aid, so that you get more money.
Those loopholes include the ones that help you legally and ethically “hide” your money from the financial aid office!
- We help you respond to all of the post-filing requests from every college on your list. If you apply to 10, 12 or more colleges, brace yourself for a LOT of follow up, some of which is guaranteed to be incredibly annoying. (This could feel like sending taxes to 12 separate IRS agencies. Blech.)
- We also help negotiate your awards after they’re given, too.
- And we help you with loan paperwork, if needed, at the end. To help you pay the balance, after the dust settles.
In short...
We take over the whole process, from now until May 1 (sometimes longer), and lead you through the dark, treacherous caves and creepy, dank tunnels, into the light.
We’re here to lead you to safety, each step of the way. But wait…
There’s more! If you enroll before DEADline, you will receive an amazing, valuable, phantasmagoric bonus:
How Does Your Child "Stack Up?"
Access to a proprietary tool that helps you see -- objectively -- how your child compares all of his competitors (not just the ones at your high school, the way Naviance shows).
This tool also factors in 20-25 key elements that admissions officers evaluate, whereas Naviance looks at only GPA and SAT or ACT.
What’s the problem? Your son or daughter might get rejected from colleges you thought were "safeties."
You won’t get an accurate sense of how balanced your list is, unless you consider everything that admissions officers review, including:
- Race
- Applying Early Decision
- Volunteer Activities
- Applying Test-Optional vs. Submitting Scores
- Rigor of Course Load
- More
Naviance (and SCOIR) are blind to these elements. That’s dangerous and risky. This is your best bet to ensure that you have a balanced, strategic list of colleges.
This College Planning Guru tool sells for $497, and we use it behind the scenes with our college advising clients who pay $12,000-$25,000 for our consulting.
But it’s yours, free, as a BONE-us if you sign up before the bell tolls for thee!
Finding Merit Scholarships
Oh, and it helps you see what’s available at each college re: Merit Aid. This money-maker could be worth the entire cost of our financial aid consulting service by it’s lonesome self…
We never make this secret, "silver bullet" weapon available to anyone except our private college advisory clients, but it's yours if you sign up now!
I'm not saying this just to scare the bejeezus out of you, but let me warn you:
In the financial aid process, all kinds of scary things creep up on you, then suddenly burst out of the woodwork when you’re least expecting them! You’ll want us there to protect you!
Look, I know this is a goofy email, but I am GRAVELY serious about how important this is for your family.
We can literally be THE DIFFERENCE between comfortably affording to send your child to her "Dream School" without scrimping on your lifestyle or robbing yourself of your retirement...
...versus having to break her heart and quietly confess, in hushed, embarrassed tones, "Sorry, I just can't afford to send you to the college you worked your tail off to get into."
I'm laying it on thick, but I'm trying to paint a vivid future for you, because that's exactly what's at, um, stake.
We’ll get your FAFSA, CSS Profile and all other financial aid applications done quickly, accurately and with ZERO stress. No howling, bloodcurdling yelling or screaming necessary -- just follow our tested and proven system.
<<<<<<Financial Aid Warrior 10% Off Deal >>>>>>>>>
PLUS, you won’t have to worry about missing any DEADlines, which is important because you will miss out on money you otherwise deserve if you’re “late!”
But you must act now - I’m killing off this deal and shoving it back into the crypt in less than five days - then the price goes back up where it rightfully belongs.
You can try, but you won’t be able to raise it from the dead!
Expiration October 15, midnight!
See you on the Other Side,
- Count Andrew Von Lockwuud
Undead College Planner
P.S. - Let me clear the cobwebs for you. This BIG TIME HALLOWEEN sale ends at midnight on Sunday October 15th! No exceptions, no tricks. This is your one chance to lock in our lowest price to help you SLASH college costs...
…so that you don’t have to rob your retirement, scrimp on your lifestyle or rack up tens of thousands in high rate, high fee debt…for you or your kids!
To get your discount and slash college costs, just go here, I've even pre-filled the coupon code for you.
P.P.S. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!!