It's Friday the 13th and I'm super busy, so I’ll make this quicker than a scurrying rat - you're looking at only two days left to take advantage of our “Halloween” special.
Until the Witching Hour, midnight Eastern time, Sunday night, you get 10% off our Financial Aid Warrior financial aid consulting program...
...and a $497 Early Action BONE-us that we just dug up from the vault :)
To get your double discount (on our service and on college tuition!), simply go here right now.
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This just in: we added a budget-friendly payment plan to your cash flow, discounted as well:
<<<<<<< Payment Plan Option >>>>>>
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Each discounted option expires suddenly, without warning 10/15 -- Midnight!
(Don’t worry that I’m telling you two days in advance that something will expire without warning. It makes perfect sense to me. But then again, I spend most of my time with Renfield, who wears a straightjacket for fun and eats insects.)
When you enroll before the midnight on Sunday (in two days), you get a gigantic, MONSTROUS BONE-us that will help you avoid College Admissions Armageddon:
Access to a proprietary tool that helps you see how your child “stacks up” against all of his competitors (not just the ones at your high school, the way Naviance shows).
Here's the imminent danger you're facing if you haplessly rely on your guidance counselor:
You will NOT get accurate information about your child’s TRUE admissions chances at school. Our tool – College Guru Software – is much more accurate -- and honest. Use it if you dare…
This proprietary, privately-available admissions tool was created by a 30-year member of Princeton University’s Admissions Committee, and factors 20-25 key elements that admissions officers evaluate. Naviance looks at only GPA and SAT or ACT.
What’s the problem? You could end up SHOCKED that your kiddo didn't get into his "Safety Schools" (if there is such a thing any more.)
You won’t get an accurate sense of how balanced your list is, unless you consider everything that admissions officers review in their hidden, secret judgment chambers, including:
This bonus delivers honest, objective information It’s not for the faint of heart, but neither is hanging garlic up all over your house to keep me and my friends away. It’s yours if you enroll before the bell tolls at midnight, Sunday…
1-PAY (BEST DEAL)
On the rare occasions that I'm not out terrorizing the locals, I see how hard Countess Pearl works at all kinds of crazy hours in the “dead” of night. I think we’re borderline criminally insane for offering this, to be blunt...
...But Pearl really wants to do this for you, and it’s in both of our interests to keep her happy :).
Here is where you can suck a little blood out of US and practically steal our Financial Aid Consulting services (with my grudging consent) -- for the next two days. And I’ve already stuck the coupon code for 10% off into those pages, for the the love of all things unholy. I’m doing everything humanly and inhumanly possible to help you here!
Fangs For the Memories,
Andy “Count FAFSALA” Von Lockwuud
Undead and Lovin’ Every Minute of It College Planner
1-PAY (BEST DEAL)
PS – This 10% off sale ends at Midnight, Eastern, Sunday (in two days). When it dies, it dies, no seance or Frankensteinesque experiment can revivify it!
Don’t miss out on your last gasp chance to drive a stake through your college bill! Grab onto this “Halloween” special like your life depended on it and transmogrify your unaffordable college bill into something you actually look forward to paying!
50% Complete
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